April 23rd, 2009, following Courage...

And the thrilling conclusion of Max Danger's eventful night in Montreal!

Cue the theme music... oh, there is no theme music. Oh well. At any rate, when last we saw our hero Maximus Dangerous (don't call him that, he doesn't like it), he was crawling away from a big brute named, Randy (last name withheld).

He'd run into a door, see, and was knocked silly. Randy was crawling because he was a rather large fellow, had been running around a building, and was quite drunk. Some of that alcohol (and some of the food he'd eaten) was on the concrete now, though, so he was feeling a little better.

All Max knew was that he needed to get to his rental car and FAST. Unfortunately, he was crawling as was previously mentioned, and that did not get you anywhere very quickly. Especially on concrete. That stuff wasn't the best on your hands and knees.

"Hold up you little bastard!" came the shout of Randy Last Name Withheld. You'll have to imagine him with a think Canadian accent 'cause I don't know how to type that.

"No thanks," replied the Danger Man as he continued to crawl forth.

"I'm going to kick your ass!" screamed the big brute.

"I think I'll pass, but thanks," replied Max once again.

"No, seriously, you don't understand, once I get my hands on you, I'm going to make you suffer like you've never suffered before."

"I've seen Kelly Flawless naked."

Silence from Randy. He opened his mouth to speak but shut it just as quickly. Finally, all he could say was, "Oh."

"Yeah, so, maybe you can kick my butt, knock some teeth out, but NOTHING will compare to the horrors of accidently walking into the locker room and seeing Kelly bent over, ghetto booty in the air."

Shivers were sent up Danger's spin as he remembered that visual. Randy, too, got cold chills and thought very seriously about vomiting once more.

The King of Submission finally felt like he could get up. Using Armsy McDanger he stood up and began to walk... using the prosthetic as a cane, which meant you had to lean forward a bit like Igor from Young Frankenstein.

"You'll never catch me now!" shouted Danger smugly as he stopped at the curb, looked both ways, and started out across the street. He was a mere two blocks from his car. Unfortunately for him the show was over and fans began to fill out of All-Star Arena.

Randy, sensing this was his time, yelled, "He spilled beer! Also, help me to my feet."

A couple of his buddies did and assisted him as they chased after Max. Danger took off faster, thunk, thunk, thunk was the sound the arm made as he raced across the street.

Max was saved by traffic stopping his pursuers at the edge of the sidewalk. But remember that group that had helped chase Max earlier? They were already across the street. And Randy? He braved the traffic and joined up with his posse. The rest of the chasers? Shrugged their shoulders and headed in different directions and heading to their homes.

Danger rounded a corner and made his way up the sidewalk. Get to the end, cross the road, and there was his car. Luckily for him, most of those after him were still a bit drunk and full of various meats.

After what seemed like a million years, the King of Submission stumbled into the side of his car and began digging for his car keys. "C'mon! C'mon!"

The gang was closing in on Max, chanting, "Gonna kick your ass!" only all out of synch and slurry. Danger looked back and started to get frantic-y. Finally, he pulled out his keys, but when he was about to insert it into the lock, it was the wrong one.

"Gah!" he said before then dropping them to the ground. "Gah, Part Two!"

"Get 'em boys!" shouted the men as they headed across the two-lane street, hands balled up into fists.

Max was on the ground trying to find the keys on the darkened ground. He pulled out the DangerPhone and used the flashlight app to help him.

"Gotcha!" he said as he picked up the keys and sprang to his feet. Only to be quickly turned around and slammed against the driver's side door by Randy Last Name Withheld.

"Kick his ass, Randy!" shouted one rather short, fat, balding man with a lisp. You couldn't tell he had a lisp by reading that, but now that you know, re-read it.

"Punch him in the eyeball!" shouted another.

"Slam your elbow three inches below his hair line!" was the very specific request from a tall man.

"Don't hit him at all, let him go, and forget this night ever happened!" said the Danger Man, attempting to throw his voice. Randy cocked his head sideways and stared at Max like he was an idiot.

"Listen to him, he sounds like a very reasonable person," said Danger. "Besides, you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?"

Randy looked back at his posse then back at Max. "Buddy, you're not wearing any glasses."

"Oh, right, hang on a sec," said Danger as he carefully removed Randy's hands for the front of his suit and opened up his bag. He pulled out his contact case and glasses case and turned his back to Randy. Carefully, he removed his contacts, put them in their proper case, and placed it back into his bag. Then he put on his glasses.

Turning around, Max looked at Randy, pointed at his face, said "glasses", and smirked.

"I have no problem breaking the lens into your eyeballs," said Randy matter-of-factly.

"Oh, mittens," said Max, as his ruse had backfired. However, he had another plan up his sleeve. Or rather, his trunk. "Okay, so, bear with me okay? I need to get something from the trunk, is that cool?"

Randy thought about it for a moment. "I dunno, can I punch you first, take your keys, and then open it?"

"I think rather not buuuuut," Danger held out his keys, "you can open it if you want."

The big brute thought about this for another moment before saying, "Okay." He then tossed the keys to Kenny who wasn't important enough to be described at this particular moment. Kenny popped open the trunk and immediately his eyes lit up and he squealed like a teenage girl at a Justin Timberlake concert (or like Max did when him and Jessica went... seriously).

"Dudes!" said the not-important-enough-for-a-description Kenny said and everyone huddled up around the trunk, leaving Max to breath a sigh of relief.

Inside the trunk?

"Beer helmets!" they all shouted in gleeful unison. Each pulled one out (there was exactly enough for all five men). Now, why would Max have a beer helmet in the trunk of his car let alone five of them? Well, seriously, it's better off not even to think about that. Logic doesn't always work best around the Danger Man.

However, there was a slight problem.

NO BEER.

One by one, each member of the posse realized this. And set of eyes by set of eyes, they turned and pierced Danger's soul with their stares.

Max, once again, went, "Gulp!"

Then he went, "Got it!" and pulled out his wallet. "Here's twenty bucks..." they all raised their eyebrows, "...fifty bucks." He handed over the bills to Randy. "Now, don't spend it all in one place."

That's when each man hugged the Danger Man. "We love you, man!" they all said.